BlogsThoughts and insights from Jubilee Church Wirral
Indecision, indecision, indecision
By Julie Greenhalgh, Life Group leader, Jubilee Church Wirral
I was most definitely an indecisive child.
A huge part of my inability to make a decision was lack of confidence. I wasn’t confident that I would make the right decision, I was fearful of what might happen if I got it wrong.
If the decision involved me answering a question, then my lack of confidence meant I often didn’t make a decision I was happy with!
When asked by a friend’s parent what I might like to drink I would say “I didn’t mind” or, worse still, that I didn’t want anything. I can’t tell you the number of times I kicked myself after I went thirsty or ate something I didn’t like, purely because I didn’t want to offend.
As I grew older I gained in confidence to actually accept people’s offers of hospitality and even made my own choices in beverages!
I realised it was actually annoying for people to hear “I don’t mind” as a regular response and I started to make a concerted effort to make choices quickly.
Big decisions, though, remained a challenge for me.
When I was young my parents helped me make decisions and I learned that I am a list person and lists of pros and cons helped me hugely and still do now.
Once I’d left home and had to go it alone I struggled. I knew I needed to make my own decisions, but often I tied myself in knots making them.
I became a Christian in my mid-20s and I was suddenly introduced to someone who could help me in my decision making.
God was there, living in my head and my heart. I didn’t have to wait for Him to come home or call Him on the phone, He was always available. I learned to ask Him each time I had to make a decision, from the huge to the tiny. I realised there wasn’t any part of my life which He wasn’t interested in.
Proverbs 2:6 says ‘For the Lord gives wisdom, from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding’
Don’t get me wrong, there were, and still are now, times I forget to ask, and I ran full pelt into a decision I later regret. But with maturity I have realised that if I stop and ask Him for help I turn the right way.
Sometimes, I’ll feel a peace about one thing more than the other; sometimes he gives me wisdom through the words of another person; or I’ll open my Bible or Word for Today and the answer will be staring me in the face!
When I have a big decision to make I talk to people and get their options, I ask them to pray and I pray…big time! I still write my lists of pros and cons. I still have books full of lists!
The main thing I’ve realised as I’ve walked with God, is that the more I am in relationship with Him the more easy it is to find His will for my life. I actually ask Him to align my heart with His will. The more time I spent in His company, chatting to Him, getting to know Him and reading His word, and the more I am open to the leading of the Holy Spirit, who I know lives in my heart, then the more confident I feel I am making the right decision.
Decision making involves taking my eyes off the problem or decision in front of me and lifting them to Him. Filling my mind with His word and thoughts of Him rather than what’s in front of me helps me to see more clearly.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says this: ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.’
I realise that the more I know God and the more I fill myself with Him, the more my decisions are less my decisions and more His!
Julie Greenhalgh with her husband Andrew
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