BlogsThoughts and insights from Jubilee Church Wirral
Indecision, indecision, indecision
By Julie Greenhalgh, Life Group leader, Jubilee Church Wirral
I was most definitely an indecisive child.
A huge part of my inability to make a decision was lack of confidence. I wasn’t confident that I would make the right decision, I was fearful of what might happen if I got it wrong.
If the decision involved me answering a question, then my lack of confidence meant I often didn’t make a decision I was happy with!
When asked by a friend’s parent what I might like to drink I would say “I didn’t mind” or, worse still, that I didn’t want anything. I can’t tell you the number of times I kicked myself after I went thirsty or ate something I didn’t like, purely because I didn’t want to offend.
As I grew older I gained in confidence to actually accept people’s offers of hospitality and even made my own choices in beverages!
I realised it was actually annoying for people to hear “I don’t mind” as a regular response and I started to make a concerted effort to make choices quickly.
Big decisions, though, remained a challenge for me.
When I was young my parents helped me make decisions and I learned that I am a list person and lists of pros and cons helped me hugely and still do now.
Once I’d left home and had to go it alone I struggled. I knew I needed to make my own decisions, but often I tied myself in knots making them.
I became a Christian in my mid-20s and I was suddenly introduced to someone who could help me in my decision making.
God was there, living in my head and my heart. I didn’t have to wait for Him to come home or call Him on the phone, He was always available. I learned to ask Him each time I had to make a decision, from the huge to the tiny. I realised there wasn’t any part of my life which He wasn’t interested in.
Proverbs 2:6 says ‘For the Lord gives wisdom, from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding’
Don’t get me wrong, there were, and still are now, times I forget to ask, and I ran full pelt into a decision I later regret. But with maturity I have realised that if I stop and ask Him for help I turn the right way.
Sometimes, I’ll feel a peace about one thing more than the other; sometimes he gives me wisdom through the words of another person; or I’ll open my Bible or Word for Today and the answer will be staring me in the face!
When I have a big decision to make I talk to people and get their options, I ask them to pray and I pray…big time! I still write my lists of pros and cons. I still have books full of lists!
The main thing I’ve realised as I’ve walked with God, is that the more I am in relationship with Him the more easy it is to find His will for my life. I actually ask Him to align my heart with His will. The more time I spent in His company, chatting to Him, getting to know Him and reading His word, and the more I am open to the leading of the Holy Spirit, who I know lives in my heart, then the more confident I feel I am making the right decision.
Decision making involves taking my eyes off the problem or decision in front of me and lifting them to Him. Filling my mind with His word and thoughts of Him rather than what’s in front of me helps me to see more clearly.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says this: ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.’
I realise that the more I know God and the more I fill myself with Him, the more my decisions are less my decisions and more His!
Julie Greenhalgh with her husband Andrew
In the month of remembrance, Chris on remembering what Jesus sacrificed for us and how we need to act on it.
Helen on the importance of Friends and what God has to say about them in the Bible.
Andrew on evangelism, how we are all evangelists whether we like it or not, and how to evangelise easily.
Dawne on the parable of the lost sheep and the lessons we can take from it as followers of Jesus and members of His flock.
Yvonne on loss and how God has helped her deal with the loss of her mum and the impending departure of her eldest son to his first job
Nicki on serving at Newday and the impact it has had on all three Frodsham children and many, many others
Simon on the frustrations of not being able to get to sleep properly, and the Bible verses that help him stand firm against sleeplessness.
Gerry on how easy it is to be drawn into gossip. “If you can’t say anything positive, don’t say anything at all” isn’t just good advice, it’s Biblical wisdom.
Sylvia on being an encourager: “God knows our troubles. When we open up to Him, He’ll use other people to encourage us through His word.”
Lynne on doing what God wants us to do even when we really don’t want to do it – and why it’s important
Chris on the power of our words and how having a relationship with Jesus can give us the power of the right word at the right time.
Helen on why Psalms have taken the place of Proverbs as her favourite book of the Bible
Andrew Greenhalgh on being much better at giving advice than at taking it – and what happens as a result.
Chantal Robertson on how God and the gospel of Christ has never changed over time – even though the way we package it has.
Nicki on how she was planning to work in the marketing and advertising industry until God led her in a different direction.
Dawne challenges us to look at life with the enthusiasm, joy and exuberance of her Macedonian dog Floki and find joy in the everyday.
Jen on how taking the Alpha Course because she had nothing better to do on a Tuesday afternoon led to a life-changing wheelchair for her daughter Daisy and many others.
Gerry on how her ideas of what love truly is have changed over the years, and how love can be so much more than a feeling.
Matt Wilson on how God is weaving a tapestry – and knows what that looks like. He can see the big picture. Our part is to trust him with the threads he has given us.
Denise Griffiths on resolutions and why she has resolved not to make the usual New Year’s resolutions such as giving up chocolate, eating healthier or doing more exercise!
Vernon on the transience of life, and how, through all suffering, God’s steadfast love has the capacity to satisfy us every morning.
Andrew Greenhalgh on how he ended up going to church on Christmas morning for the first time at the age of 11 – and what it has taught him.
Helen on how preparations for Christmas vary from family to family and country to country. And what happened to Helen’s Lindt advent chocolates?